LOOKING LIKE JESUS PART 2 - FORGIVENESS

We are continuing our study of Looking Like Jesus, and today let’s think about forgiveness. As Jesus hung on the cross, dying for the sins of you and me and the very people who had put Him there, He said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 (ESV). What an amazing example of a forgiving attitude.

The interesting thing about that moment is that, even though they hadn’t asked for forgiveness, Jesus was asking His Father to forgive them. I don’t believe that was all that was needed for their forgiveness, but that’s another topic for another day. Jesus was willing to forgive them, when they were still doing the thing for which they needed forgiveness.

We, as women, are sometimes the very worst at carrying a grudge. Carrying a grudge is not forgiving but rather is keeping in our hearts the things that have been done to us. We tell ourselves that we are hurt and therefore can’t forgive them yet. We say that we can’t forgive them because they haven’t asked us to forgive. Remember Luke 23:34. Jesus was willing to forgive, even though they hadn’t asked for forgiveness.

Every couple fights. We all know it. But do you fight dirty? When you are arguing with your husband, do you bring up all the things he has ever done in the past? Do you use the words always and never? Do you act hurt for days after your husband has said something that maybe he shouldn’t have? After almost 40 years of marriage, I know I’ve done this more than once. It’s interesting to me, though, that the last 20 years, fighting just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore. I’m not willing to live through all that drama. So, when we disagree, I decide whether the thing we are arguing about is worth causing strife over. Usually it isn’t. He left the toilet seat up again. Yup, but it is easier for me to put it down, forgive him and let it go than to cause a big scene about something so small.

How about a big one? He forgot our anniversary (I’m happy to say Mark has never done that!) but it could happen. It hurts, right? You remember that day so fondly and every year you look forward to celebrating together that wonderful day. But he forgot. So what do you do? Do you gently remind him? Or do you decide to not speak to him for days, or even cause a big stink when the end of the day rolls around and he still hasn’t said anything? All those reactions are understandable. We are hurt. But do we forgive him? You know when he realizes what an important thing he has forgotten, he is going to feel terribly. Please don’t make him suffer for days. Forgive him and let it go. Sometimes the thing your spouse has done is really bad, something that could break the relationship forever. I know it is hard. I've seen sin tear couples apart. The hurt lasts for years. But I don't think it has to be that way. Be the first one to start to heal a rift like that. Yes, he was wrong, but making him suffer over it sure doesn’t sound much like love to me. The forgiveness you can give will heal both of you and hopefully, the relationship as well.

I know sometimes it is very difficult to forgive someone. They have said or done something that has cut you to the bone. Then when they don’t ask for forgiveness, you decide they don’t deserve it. While this may be true, let’s think about something for a minute.

If we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us. In the Lord’s Prayer, in Matthew 6:12, one of the lines is “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Right after that, Jesus drives home the point by stating “but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” That is a scary thought to me, and I hope it is to you, as well. Do we really want to spend eternity in hell because of something someone else did?

We have all done so much to cause God hurt. Every time we sin, even the smallest sin (or what we consider small), God is hurt. He loves us and He wants our relationship to stay intact. But sin separates us from God. God wasn’t willing to let that be, though, and before the foundation of the world made a plan to redeem us. He sent His Son here to die for our sins, so that we could be forgiven. Isn’t that amazing? But … Jesus told us that God won’t forgive us if we don’t forgive others. That’s scary to me. How many times are we hurt by others? Do we carry it in our hearts or do we let it go, forgive them and move on?

We want God to forgive us when we do wrong. We pray and ask for forgiveness, and God is waiting to forgive us. But if we don’t forgive our brothers and sisters, or anyone else in the world who wrongs us, we are going to be condemned.

So think about that hurt, that pain, that awful thing someone has said or done to you. Is it really worth giving up your soul for that? Is our pride so strong that we would rather perish than forgive someone?

There are so many verses that talk about this.

Colossians 3:13 “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (ESV)

Matthew 18:35 “so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”  (ESV) I always find it interesting to see that little phrase pinned on to the end of this verse – from your heart – that means you have to mean it. You can’t just do what we make our kids do and say Sorry or It’s OK when you don’t really mean it.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  (ESV)

But, you say, they have done this so many times. Why should I keep forgiving them, when I know they are just going to do it again? Jesus addressed that too. Remember when Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his brother. As many as seven times, Peter asked. “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:22. That’s a lot of times. Even if you’ve been married for 50 years, I doubt your husband has done something 77 times. But even if he has, you still need to forgive. How many times have you done the same sin over and over? Do you want God to keep forgiving you?

Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important. It is important to forgive so that you can also be forgiven. And it is important because forgiveness will keep relationships strong. Whether it is your husband, your sister in Christ, your children or some minor acquaintance, holding grudges and not forgiving will ruin both your relationship with them and your relationship with God. So consider that next time someone hurts you. Is it really important enough to jeopardize your relationship with God? I’m not sure I could ever think of anything that was that important.

I remember seeing a sign one time that really put forgiveness into perspective for me.

None of us "deserve" forgiveness. We are all sinners, we have all said and done things that hurt others. Even if the person who hurt you doesn't ask for forgiveness, forgive them anyway and enjoy the peace that comes with that. And honestly, if you don't forgive someone, chances are you aren't hurting them at all, you are just hurting yourself. 

Open your heart, allow God to forgive you and pass that forgiveness on to others in your life who need forgiveness. Sometimes they will never ask for it, but by forgiving them anyway, you will receive peace. And we all need more of that, don't we?

Looking Like Jesus Part 1 - SURRENDER

So many people in this world today are wandering aimlessly. They don’t know what their purpose is or why they are here. Young people waste their lives, saying they are trying to find themselves. As Christians, we shouldn’t be like that. We have a purpose and we know what it is.

Romans 8:29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.

We have a purpose!! Our purpose is to be conformed to the image of His Son. We are to look like Jesus. That’s our job, that’s our reason for being here.  So what does that look like? As God’s daughters, how do we look like Jesus?

Surrender

Philippians 2:5-8 - Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

He emptied Himself. He surrendered completely. His will became whatever God’s will was. He lived to serve the Father, to complete His work. Jesus emptied Himself and died on the cross to save us.

How do we surrender like Jesus did? How do we make this part of our daily lives?

As young women, we dream of our lives as wives and mothers. We dream of our Prince Charming, how he will look, how he will come and sweep us off our feet. We dream of our perfect wedding, the dress, the flowers, how amazing our Prince Charming will look in that black tux. Then we dream of the perfect house with the white picket fence, in the perfect neighborhood, and our 2.5 perfect children. What wonderful dreams.

Then reality hits. Some of us never find that Prince Charming. No one sweeps us off our feet. We don’t find anyone to share our lives with. How do we deal with that? Do we become desperate, looking for anyone who will give us some attention? Or… Do we surrender? God knows what we are wanting, even before we do. He knows what we need and He knows what’s best for us. God’s timing is not ours. We may want something right now but God gives us what we need in His time. So are you supposed to live your life alone? Maybe, maybe not. But if you are alone, spend that alone time getting closer to God. Dwell in His Word. Grow closer to God in every way possible. Let Him decide where you go from here. Surrender!

Surrender and contentment go hand in hand. But contentment is hard work. Contentment is defined as the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind. Content is to be satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

We are to be content with what we have, who we are. That is not to say we don’t try to improve ourselves, but we must accept what is not in our power to change. That’s surrender. Alcoholics Anonymous, among other groups, use a prayer as part of their program.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  This is a prayer that we, as God’s children, should be praying for ourselves every day. This is a prayer asking for the contentment and surrender that will help us be like Jesus.

But let’s imagine further. You’ve found that Prince Charming, you had the perfect wedding. But Prince Charming isn’t as charming as we dreamed. But news flash, you aren’t perfect either. Marriage is the union of two imperfect people who are going to blend their lives. I promise, it isn’t going to be without road bumps, fights and disappointments. Don’t be surprised when things don’t go smoothly. But don’t become bitter either. Look at 1 Corinthians 13 and remind yourself of what love looks like, then put those characteristics into practice in your marriage.

I’ve long believed that a lot of the disappointments in marriage come about when we forget who is our joy and fulfilment. Marriage is a union of two individuals and is a beautiful thing. God ordained marriage as two becoming one flesh. So much happiness can be found in marriage. But we are creatures who were created for a purpose – to be conformed to the image of His Son. Our joy and contentment come from God, not from the perfect marriage or the perfect children or the perfect job or the perfect face/body. You get the idea. Apply the things Jesus taught to your marriage like you do to your other relationships. Love, forgive, encourage, support.

If you are blessed with children, be thankful. There are many who never had that opportunity. I pray that they found contentment in their situation. There are many who have children that have serious illnesses or who have had to say goodbye to those children long before they hoped. I pray they found comfort and contentment in God. There are many who have been disappointed by the choices their children have made in this life. This too is a place where we need to find comfort from God. Children are not perfect – they are individuals who make their own choices and decisions, just like spouses. Remember that your purpose in life comes from God, not from your children or your marriage or your job.

We need to work every day to surrender to God’s purpose for our lives. We should spend every day working as hard as we can to be just like Jesus. We need to surrender every part of our lives; our marriages, our jobs, what we want for our children, how we spend the moments of our lives and our health.

How do you respond when your day doesn’t go as you planned? Do you try to make things go the way you wanted them to or do you surrender and strive to be peaceful about the way things turned out? Think about this, please. Every situation asks for a response from us. And every time we give a response to a situation, others are watching us, watching to see how we respond to the disappointments and discouragements of life. Are you conformed to the image of Jesus? Do you shine as lights to a dying world?

Next Week - Looking Like Jesus Part 2 - FORGIVING

I'm Baaaaaack - Sorry for the long silence

I must apologize for the silence of the last year. The last year of my working outside the home took its toll on me. I was overwhelmed and that brought on illness.

Last October, I was laid off from my job. I believe fervently that this was a blessing. Just two weeks after being laid off, my husband, Mark became an elder at our congregation. I think this may have been God's way of preparing us for that. I am now free to help him in whatever way necessary. My health has greatly improved and the free time has also given me the opportunity to spend more time in study, meditation and prayer.

I recently attended WOW in Grapevine, TX, a weekend devoted to women and our service to the King. While there, I was approached by a dear sister and asked when I was going to start up my blog again.

So... here it is.

I want to promise that I will post every week, but we all know how life can sometimes get in the way. So, I will promise, with the Lord's help, I will post every week that He grants me the time and energy to do so.

I am open to suggestions, if there are any subjects you would like to see addressed.

This is just my apology and introduction back into the blogging community. I will post again later this week with my first installment of the new work.

May the Lord bless and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you.

Things Your Kids Need to Know

In my humble opinion, there are some things that are very important for parents to teach their children. If you don't teach them these things, there will be unpleasant consequences.

Teach your children about authority - I have often said, if you don't teach your children about authority, someone else will. And unfortunately, it may be an authority that you would rather your children not have interaction with. If you don't teach your children about authority, the government (i.e. police or prison officials) will have to. Children need to learn that they will always answer to someone else. Children answer to their parents or at least they should. Women answer to their husbands (1 Peter 3:1). Workers answer to their bosses. We all answer to our governments. If we do not live within the laws of our land, there will be consequences. Teach your children to submit to authority.

Teach your children about God - if you don't, they will learn about Him at The Judgement. Wouldn't it be sad if your children never know about God until they have to meet Him face to face and give an account for their life (Hebrews 9:27).

Teach your children about love - this world certainly won't. It will teach them about lust, about hate, about war, about death. But you have the wonderful opportunity to teach your children about love - your love for them, God's love for them, their opportunities to love others, and the pure love of a husband and a wife. You can also give them an excellent example of a parent's love for a child, showing them the love God has for His children. The love of God for His children is our ultimate example of how parents love their children.

Teach your children about money - the consequences of this one can be life-long. The Bible tells us the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:10). Teach your children that money is a tool - to be used for good. Teach them how to manage their money, to be a good steward of the things God has blessed them with. Teach them how debt will enslave them. Teach them how to live within their means. Teach them to be generous and giving to others. That is definitely something the world will NOT teach them.

Teach your children patience and contentment. These two things are tied in with teaching your children about money. They are hard things to learn and hard to teach but this will be a sad life indeed if we never learn patience and contentment. You will never have peace if you do not learn these things. Teach your children how to wait - for things (help them to save their money to buy something they really want - don't just buy them whatever they want whenever they want. That teaches them that the world "owes" them anything they should happen to desire). Teach them how to wait for special occasions - help them to learn patience when waiting for Christmas or Birthdays, or any special occasion. I believe the best way to teach a child patience is to help them learn to be unselfish - to focus on others rather than themselves. Teach them how to be servants, which is what we are all to be. Christ was our ultimate example of serving, of patience and contentment, of being completely unselfishness.

Raising children is not an easy job. It requires a lot of work and is not for the faint of heart. The joys of raising godly children, though, are priceless.

I Shall Return

Just wanted to let everyone know I will be back - after the first of the year. The month of December has been hectic and I haven't posted since Thanksgiving Day.

Return in the new year and I'll be back at it.

God's blessings on you all.
Diane

Teachable Moments

Today is traditionally a day of feasting and football, family and friends. As you worked in the kitchen preparing that feast or sat around the table sharing your meal with your loved ones, did you take that opportunity to teach your children? Did you show them the love that can go into preparing a meal for others? Did you teach them how to be thankful for the bounty of blessings we have?

Children are little sponges and they see a lot. What are they learning if they see you fussing over fixing the meal, snapping at your family as you stress to make everything perfect? Do you want them to learn that holidays are stressful and family gatherings are a time to gripe and complain? Or do you show them that God has blessed us with so much and we are forever thankful for these earthly blessings? Do they see you pray and give thanks every day, not just this one day a year. In this amazing country, even with its many problems, we are so blessed far above most people of the world.

Remember what the Lord told the children of Israel about teaching His precepts to their children? Deuteronomy 11:19 (ESV) "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Structured Bible study is necessary and profitable, but you must take those opportunities of teachable moments throughout every day. When you are in the kitchen cooking your meal, talk to your children about the abundance of food we have today. Tell them about ways they can help others who are less fortunate. Show them the joy of sharing a meal with family and friends and how to cherish their loved ones.

Today's holiday is the beginning of the busiest season of the year. We will all be rushing around trying to get our houses decorated, our shopping done, our baking finished . . . We each have our own list. Don't let this season of stress take away the teachable moments you can have with your children. Talk to them about who you are buying gifts for, get them to see the joy of giving. Help them focus on sharing with others, not just what they want. Take them to buy gifts to give to the poor and needy. Have them help you bake cookies to take to the elderly and shut-ins from your congregation. These are all teachable moments, times when you can take the opportunity to teach your children how to be a servant, caring for others, not just themselves.

One Chance - Special Thanks to Brent Moody

Yesterday, Brent Moody, one of our preachers, talked about our one change to influence our children. It was an AMAZING lesson. A great beginning to all the discussions that we need to have about raising godly children. Take a few minutes out of your busy day and listen to this wonderful lesson.

http://kleinwood.com/sermons/all-sermons/2014/11/16/one-chance

Then let's continue our discussions about ways we can influence our children. We have just one chance to raise the kind of children we want to leave to this world. The kind of people we want to see grow up, live their lives for God and spend eternity in heaven with. 

Education is a good thing. Having children who are good at their schoolwork, who go to a good college and get a good job is a good thing. But . . . if your children grow up not knowing God, or not caring about the One who created them, the One who loves them and wants what is best for them . . . well, that is failure.

Don't fail your children. You have one chance, just a few years, to teach your children. But you have years and years to regret not teaching them. Now, speaking from experience, you can try your hardest to teach your children and still have regrets. None of us are perfect. But imagine the regrets if you don't do your best to teach and train your children.

Please listen to this lesson and then check back in a few days for more discussion about how to influence your children.

Thanks, Brent, for a wonderful lesson!!!