Bite Your Tongue

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

So often I forget this verse, and say things I shouldn't say. I think we are all guilty of this at times.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. Colossians 4:6 reminds us " let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."  Or as Thumper used to say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." How many times have I opened my mouth, said the first thing that came to mind, and then regretted it for days.

Mark and I have been married for 37 years. We had some rocky times and we have had some absolutely wonderful times. I can say with certainty that the rocky times were either caused by or exacerbated by me saying things I shouldn't have said. James tells us the tongue is a wild thing and must be tamed. Oh, that is so hard. In the heat of the moment, we feel we MUST give that person a piece of our mind. They need to be straightened out.

But is that what they really need? And is that what I need to be doing? So many times, we give of our best to those of the world, and then have nothing left to give our families but the worst of us. I've been guilty of having the thought that my family should love me, no matter what, so I can be angry and say whatever I want. But God tells us to be angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26).

So, how are you talking to your husband and your children? Do your children think you are always angry? Do they think you don't know how to give a kind word? How about your husband? Has he quit talking to you like he used to when you were dating? Maybe it is because your responses to him have made him shut down. He is afraid to talk to you because he thinks you will respond with anger or frustration. Constant criticism is something that will tear down anyone and will hurt the receiver as well as the giver.

I'm praying for you all as I pray for myself. May God put kind words in our mouths, sweet words that are encouraging and uplifting.



 

Empty Yourself

Philippians 2:5-8  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

 

Jesus Christ emptied Himself. He didn't just give up a few things He wanted, but emptied Himself. He completely gave up the things He wanted for himself. He took the form of a servant and humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death. Jesus was the Son of God, yet He humbled Himself completely.

 

We as Christians, and as mothers, wives, sisters, children of God, are called to the same mindset. This section of scripture starts by telling us to have this same mind. We are to become servants; to our families, our fellow brethren and our fellow man.

 

I can hear you saying but what about me? What about my needs? What about what I want to do? I understand your concern. If I don't look out for my own needs, who will? Well, I think God has promised that He will! He has promised us so many things. He has promised to never leave or desert us. He has promised to fulfill every need of ours. Not every want, but every need.

 

I think you will find, if you empty yourself for the sake of Christ Jesus, God will fill you back up, with His presence and with His love.

 

I'm not saying this is easy. I think Jesus made it look so easy, but even He had some concerns. Just look at His prayers in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus put His trust in God, the Father. And we can do this, too.

 

The older I get, the more I realize that the things that are of this world, the physical things we are so worried about at times, are of no consequence when we look at what is to come. We are physical beings but we are also spiritual beings. Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

 

God calls us to be more spiritually-minded, to put aside the physical and serve Him gladly, to empty ourselves. If we quit worrying about making sure we have what we need/want, and spend our time fulfilling the needs of others, God will fill our needs. I'm continually amazed at how God takes care of me. I think you will be, too, if you just trust Him and empty yourself.

 

Definitely not easy but something to strive for. I'm praying for each of you, that you can learn to empty yourself and take on the form of a servant, as our example, Jesus Christ, did. And I'm praying that He will help me do the same.

 

Do you pray for your kids?

Colossians 4:2 Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving.

The word for continue means to persevere earnestly. To be continually praying.

We have been entrusted with the care and education of our children. They are little sponges. They learn so much in their first 5 years. So what are you teaching them? Are you teaching them how important prayer is? Do they see you pray regularly? Do they hear you pray for them? For their Daddy? For yourself?

You want your children to grow up with a knowledge of God and a close relationship with Him. Do you pray for that?

You want your children to grow up and find a strong Christian to share their life with - someone who will help them get to heaven. Do you pray for that? I'll share a little secret with you. I started praying for my children's mates before my children were even born. I can honestly say God answered my prayers with a resounding YES! My children chose wisely. They chose Christians. They chose someone who would help them, compliment them, strengthen them on the road to heaven. That is really all that is important in a spouse. If they find someone who strengthens them and helps them to heaven, what more could you ask for??

When your children are young, it is hard to imagine them all grown up and looking for a spouse. It is hard to imagine them as teenagers, struggling with the things Satan is bound to throw in their way. But we have to make sure we do all we can to let God know what we want for our children. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much!!

Now the second part of that verse in Colossians. Do you pray with thanksgiving? When you see your children growing, do you thank God? When you see them making wise choices, do you praise Him for His guidance for them? I believe we are a country that has forgotten how to be grateful. And I am afraid this is rubbing off on Christians today. Be thankful. Things are not great but be thankful. You are sick, tired, weak, worn - but be thankful God is there and is ready to help you. You just need ask. Count your blessings. I guarantee, even in the darkest of times, there are blessings from God you can be thankful for.

Pray without ceasing. Pray for your children. Pray for your husband. Pray for yourself. Pray for your sisters in Christ who are struggling with the cares of this world.

I'm praying for all of you!

Is Your Husband Living on the Housetop?

Proverbs 21:9 (ESV)
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Time to be honest with yourself. Have you ever driven your husband to the rooftop? Solomon tells us it is better to live in a corner of the housetop (roof) than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

World English Dictionary defines quarrelsome as "inclined to quarrel or disagree; belligerent."

"Oh, that's not me!" we tell ourselves. But remember we are trying to be honest with ourselves here. And if we are honest, I think we will all admit we have sometimes slipped into this mentality. We feel we have something to contribute and everyone better listen up. We think we know better than our husbands about some things, like running the home or how to teach the children. We may very well have some excellent ideas that would be helpful, but how we give our input makes all the difference in the world in how our husbands receive it.

Remember that man you married (or the one you are planning to marry). Remember how you felt about him when you were first dating. You wanted to please him. You wanted him to think the best of you. That's the way we should all still feel. This isn't a war we are in here. This is a partnership. You both have the same goals, headed in the same direction. Let's quit pulling and fighting and trying to go a different direction. It just isn't worth it.

Now I'm not talking about if your husband is doing something sinful. We all know that we must, in love, point out spiritual errors to those we love. That's not easy either. But if it is a matter of judgment, how best to do something, we have to remember that we are "subject" to our husbands. We can give our input (hopefully in a loving, positive manner) but the ultimate decision is his. The ultimate responsibility is his, too, which should be a relief for most of us.

My husband counts on me to give him constructive criticism. He expects me to tell him if he messed something up. Your husband may not be there yet (after all we've had 37 years to get to this spot). The way I tell him, though, can make all the difference in the world. If your husband is ready for your constructive criticism, be sure to tell him with love in your heart and kindness in your voice. Difficult words are much easier to hear when surrounded with the gentleness of a "meek and quiet spirit."

When my husband makes a decision, though, he expects me to support him and be the helper I'm supposed to be. You won't always get your way, but if you show your husband that you support him in his decisions, your life and his will be much smoother, much happier and much more peaceful. Chances are, in the future, he will consider your preferences more. After all, the same Bible that tells us wives to be submissive also tells our husbands to love us as themselves.

I think, honestly, there are some people that just like to argue. They aren't happy unless they are arguing, complaining or fighting with someone. I think this goes back to the "gentle and quiet spirit" again. Those two images just don't mix well, do they?

If you are one of those folks that is always fighting, arguing and complaining, take a step back. Think about our example, Jesus Christ. Think about how He responded to those who beat Him, spit in His face and hung Him on a cross. If we are to be like Him, how can we not respond as He did? How do you respond when your husband asks you to do something? How do you respond when he makes a decision? Is your marriage a peaceful joint effort or a battleground?

I guess what I am really trying to say is, the things we often fight about are not really worth it. They are not that important, they will pass in time. In 5 or 10 years, we won't even remember what all those little arguments were about. Choose your battles carefully or you may just win the battle but lose the war.

We are to be helpers for our husbands, not quarrelsome, argumentative wives who make our husbands wish they lived alone on a rooftop. I'm praying for all of you, and for myself, that we can all learn to have that "meek and quiet spirit" that will make for much more peaceful, joyful marriages.