The Smallest Things

 

I'm sorry this post is later in the week than usual. We had a busy day Monday and it took me a while to get caught up.

Monday was the funeral of a dear sweet lady. She came to Houston when her husband retired and they lived just two streets over from us for many years. Her daughter was already a friend of ours so we were quickly friends. Every time I saw her sweet face at worship services, she would say, "Hi Neighbor." Memories like that have a way of warming my heart.

Sweet Peggy suffered from Alzheimer's for the last several years of her life. We didn't see her at worship either. I missed her sweet smile and her "Hi Neighbor."

Her funeral service was a celebration of a wonderful life. The preacher started the service by saying, "I made Peggy giggle." And that set the tone for a walk down memory lane, remembering the amazing foods she made, the times she spent with her grandchildren, the affect she had on her 2nd grade students through the years. She had a profound impact on all the lives she touched. We sang 10 songs, songs that Peggy loved. That woman loved to sing, and she passed that love to her children and her grandchildren.

I was reminded of some lessons we can all learn from our dear sister who has gone on to her reward.

Even the little things count. I was impressed by the memories that were shared about this sweet lady. It was the small things that made an impression on those who knew her. She taught 2nd graders, children at an impressionable age, something that might not be considered important. The story was told of a young woman who was about to graduate high school who brought Peggy a dozen roses. The young woman told Peggy what an impact she had had on her life. She said she never got involved in drinking or drugs because Peggy always told her it was ok to be different.

The grandchildren remembered fondly the foods she would make for them, even something as simple as cookies were special because of the time spent with their grandmother. Many members at our congregation remembered fondly the foods she would bring to them when they were ill or had lost a family member, especially her sour cream pound cake. These seem like such small things but they made a huge impact on others.

You are never too old to serve the Lord. The only memories I have of this sweet lady were of her in her later years. Yet she still had an impact on me. She made me want to be a better person. She made me want to strive to serve others in a quiet, unassuming way. Her grandchildren were affected by her wonderful life, too, but she was an "older woman" when they came along. This kind woman never quit serving the Lord, and her influence didn't stop, even when her mind was muddled by that awful disease.

Never grow weary in doing good. Peggy always had a kind word for everyone she met. I never remember seeing her too tired to smile and ask about you, how your day was going. She kept doing the things she had always done, even as her mind was leaving her. It must have been so tiring to try to remember things that just wouldn't come to her, but it didn't seem to affect her temperament.

Your life can continue to impact others, even after you are gone. Even though she is gone, she is still having an impact on others. Her grandchildren will remember her their entire lives and will strive to be better because of her example. I have found myself being much more thoughtful of others, much more kind to others, while remembering Peggy this week. I pray that I will continue to remember her and let it encourage me to be a better person.

Proverbs 31 describes a woman of virtue and I believe Peggy tried every day to live that kind of life. I believe she was successful at it.

Psalms 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones. (NASB) My prayer is that the life I live will be such that I will have a positive influence on others even after I am gone.

Looking Like Jesus Part 3 - PRAYING

We've been talking about being conformed to the image of God's Son. Another way to look like Jesus is through prayer. Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer. When He was faced with the decision of choosing His 12 disciples, He spent the night in prayer (Luke 6:12). When He was approaching the cross, He spent the night in prayer (Luke 22:39-46). Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus would often slip away to the wilderness to pray. Other examples are found in Mark 1:35 and Luke 11:1. We aren't told about every detail of the 3 years of  Jesus' ministry but it is mentioned several times that Jesus went off by Himself to pray. Sound like it was pretty important to Him.

And, if we are trying to look like Jesus, then prayer should be important to us as well. Prayer should be an integral part of our every day lives. I Thessalonians 5:17 says we are to pray without ceasing. This doesn't mean that every word we say or every thought we think must be a prayer, but that it is part of everything we do. When you are washing dishes or doing laundry, pray for the loved ones that give you that chore. When you are changing a diaper, pray for that baby to grow up to love God and serve Him. When you are cooking a meal to take to the sick, pray for their health and well being. Whatever you are doing, spend some time in prayer. Do you work outside the home? Pray for your coworkers, pray for your home while you are away, pray for the strength to do both jobs well.

As mothers, I think one of the most important things we can do for our children is to pray for them. Pray for yourself, to have the right attitude about raising them, pray for God to give you the wisdom you need to train them, pray for patience (that's a big one!!) and pray for strength to continue to teach them, even when it is hard. Pray for their hearts, for them to have a heart that loves God and is open to His teachings. Pray for them to have strength to withstand the temptations that Satan will throw at them. Pray for their future spouse. Pray that some mother somewhere is raising her sons and daughters to be good husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. And pray that your children will find those good young men and women, that they will choose wisely when they consider who to spend the rest of their lives with. As they are raising your grandchildren, pray that they are teaching them about God. Pray for them to have strength to teach and train their children as God wants.

As wives, we should be praying for our husbands regularly. Pray for their jobs as providers. Pray for their jobs as fathers, teaching and training your children with you. Pray for them as a child of God. You know your husband better than anyone else does. You know what they struggle with, what their temptations are. Pray for God to give them strength to stay the course, to press on toward the goal. If your husband is a deacon or an elder, pray fervently for them. Those are difficult jobs and they need all the prayers they can get. Pray for them to have wisdom and patience and knowledge.

As sisters, we should be praying for our fellow sisters in Christ. We should be praying for them and we should be praying with them. When a sister is facing a difficulty, offer to pray with her. Do it right then. Don't put it off or say that you will pray for them. Do it with them. This gives both you and her such a sense of peace and comfort, knowing that God hears you and He cares. Too often, I think we say we will pray for someone but then life gets in the way and we forget about it. We've missed an opportunity.

As citizens, we should be praying for our country. 1 Timothy 2:1 urges us to pray "for all men, for kings and all in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity." Our country is in a turmoil right now. The country is divided over who will be our next president, in what direction we want our Supreme Court to rule, abortion, immigration, and on and on. This is not a political piece, so I won't give you my views on how our country should be voting. But we are told to pray for all in authority so that we can lead tranquil and quiet lives in godliness and dignity. We should be praying for these things and then we should let it go, let God take care of it.

A big part of prayer is praying about something and then letting God handle it. Philippians 4:6-7 states "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Chris Jesus." God wants to hear from us. He wants us to tell Him our concerns and let Him take care of them. He has promised us His peace.

There are so many other things we can pray about and for. I could spend several blogs talking about all the things that need our prayers.

If my goal is to be conformed to the image of His Son, I need to be praying unceasingly. I need to be praying fervently. And like Jesus, I need to make sure I spend some time alone, away from distractions, to pray to our Father.

LOOKING LIKE JESUS PART 2 - FORGIVENESS

We are continuing our study of Looking Like Jesus, and today let’s think about forgiveness. As Jesus hung on the cross, dying for the sins of you and me and the very people who had put Him there, He said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 (ESV). What an amazing example of a forgiving attitude.

The interesting thing about that moment is that, even though they hadn’t asked for forgiveness, Jesus was asking His Father to forgive them. I don’t believe that was all that was needed for their forgiveness, but that’s another topic for another day. Jesus was willing to forgive them, when they were still doing the thing for which they needed forgiveness.

We, as women, are sometimes the very worst at carrying a grudge. Carrying a grudge is not forgiving but rather is keeping in our hearts the things that have been done to us. We tell ourselves that we are hurt and therefore can’t forgive them yet. We say that we can’t forgive them because they haven’t asked us to forgive. Remember Luke 23:34. Jesus was willing to forgive, even though they hadn’t asked for forgiveness.

Every couple fights. We all know it. But do you fight dirty? When you are arguing with your husband, do you bring up all the things he has ever done in the past? Do you use the words always and never? Do you act hurt for days after your husband has said something that maybe he shouldn’t have? After almost 40 years of marriage, I know I’ve done this more than once. It’s interesting to me, though, that the last 20 years, fighting just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore. I’m not willing to live through all that drama. So, when we disagree, I decide whether the thing we are arguing about is worth causing strife over. Usually it isn’t. He left the toilet seat up again. Yup, but it is easier for me to put it down, forgive him and let it go than to cause a big scene about something so small.

How about a big one? He forgot our anniversary (I’m happy to say Mark has never done that!) but it could happen. It hurts, right? You remember that day so fondly and every year you look forward to celebrating together that wonderful day. But he forgot. So what do you do? Do you gently remind him? Or do you decide to not speak to him for days, or even cause a big stink when the end of the day rolls around and he still hasn’t said anything? All those reactions are understandable. We are hurt. But do we forgive him? You know when he realizes what an important thing he has forgotten, he is going to feel terribly. Please don’t make him suffer for days. Forgive him and let it go. Sometimes the thing your spouse has done is really bad, something that could break the relationship forever. I know it is hard. I've seen sin tear couples apart. The hurt lasts for years. But I don't think it has to be that way. Be the first one to start to heal a rift like that. Yes, he was wrong, but making him suffer over it sure doesn’t sound much like love to me. The forgiveness you can give will heal both of you and hopefully, the relationship as well.

I know sometimes it is very difficult to forgive someone. They have said or done something that has cut you to the bone. Then when they don’t ask for forgiveness, you decide they don’t deserve it. While this may be true, let’s think about something for a minute.

If we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us. In the Lord’s Prayer, in Matthew 6:12, one of the lines is “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Right after that, Jesus drives home the point by stating “but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” That is a scary thought to me, and I hope it is to you, as well. Do we really want to spend eternity in hell because of something someone else did?

We have all done so much to cause God hurt. Every time we sin, even the smallest sin (or what we consider small), God is hurt. He loves us and He wants our relationship to stay intact. But sin separates us from God. God wasn’t willing to let that be, though, and before the foundation of the world made a plan to redeem us. He sent His Son here to die for our sins, so that we could be forgiven. Isn’t that amazing? But … Jesus told us that God won’t forgive us if we don’t forgive others. That’s scary to me. How many times are we hurt by others? Do we carry it in our hearts or do we let it go, forgive them and move on?

We want God to forgive us when we do wrong. We pray and ask for forgiveness, and God is waiting to forgive us. But if we don’t forgive our brothers and sisters, or anyone else in the world who wrongs us, we are going to be condemned.

So think about that hurt, that pain, that awful thing someone has said or done to you. Is it really worth giving up your soul for that? Is our pride so strong that we would rather perish than forgive someone?

There are so many verses that talk about this.

Colossians 3:13 “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (ESV)

Matthew 18:35 “so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”  (ESV) I always find it interesting to see that little phrase pinned on to the end of this verse – from your heart – that means you have to mean it. You can’t just do what we make our kids do and say Sorry or It’s OK when you don’t really mean it.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  (ESV)

But, you say, they have done this so many times. Why should I keep forgiving them, when I know they are just going to do it again? Jesus addressed that too. Remember when Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his brother. As many as seven times, Peter asked. “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:22. That’s a lot of times. Even if you’ve been married for 50 years, I doubt your husband has done something 77 times. But even if he has, you still need to forgive. How many times have you done the same sin over and over? Do you want God to keep forgiving you?

Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do, but it is so important. It is important to forgive so that you can also be forgiven. And it is important because forgiveness will keep relationships strong. Whether it is your husband, your sister in Christ, your children or some minor acquaintance, holding grudges and not forgiving will ruin both your relationship with them and your relationship with God. So consider that next time someone hurts you. Is it really important enough to jeopardize your relationship with God? I’m not sure I could ever think of anything that was that important.

I remember seeing a sign one time that really put forgiveness into perspective for me.

None of us "deserve" forgiveness. We are all sinners, we have all said and done things that hurt others. Even if the person who hurt you doesn't ask for forgiveness, forgive them anyway and enjoy the peace that comes with that. And honestly, if you don't forgive someone, chances are you aren't hurting them at all, you are just hurting yourself. 

Open your heart, allow God to forgive you and pass that forgiveness on to others in your life who need forgiveness. Sometimes they will never ask for it, but by forgiving them anyway, you will receive peace. And we all need more of that, don't we?

Looking Like Jesus Part 1 - SURRENDER

So many people in this world today are wandering aimlessly. They don’t know what their purpose is or why they are here. Young people waste their lives, saying they are trying to find themselves. As Christians, we shouldn’t be like that. We have a purpose and we know what it is.

Romans 8:29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.

We have a purpose!! Our purpose is to be conformed to the image of His Son. We are to look like Jesus. That’s our job, that’s our reason for being here.  So what does that look like? As God’s daughters, how do we look like Jesus?

Surrender

Philippians 2:5-8 - Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

He emptied Himself. He surrendered completely. His will became whatever God’s will was. He lived to serve the Father, to complete His work. Jesus emptied Himself and died on the cross to save us.

How do we surrender like Jesus did? How do we make this part of our daily lives?

As young women, we dream of our lives as wives and mothers. We dream of our Prince Charming, how he will look, how he will come and sweep us off our feet. We dream of our perfect wedding, the dress, the flowers, how amazing our Prince Charming will look in that black tux. Then we dream of the perfect house with the white picket fence, in the perfect neighborhood, and our 2.5 perfect children. What wonderful dreams.

Then reality hits. Some of us never find that Prince Charming. No one sweeps us off our feet. We don’t find anyone to share our lives with. How do we deal with that? Do we become desperate, looking for anyone who will give us some attention? Or… Do we surrender? God knows what we are wanting, even before we do. He knows what we need and He knows what’s best for us. God’s timing is not ours. We may want something right now but God gives us what we need in His time. So are you supposed to live your life alone? Maybe, maybe not. But if you are alone, spend that alone time getting closer to God. Dwell in His Word. Grow closer to God in every way possible. Let Him decide where you go from here. Surrender!

Surrender and contentment go hand in hand. But contentment is hard work. Contentment is defined as the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind. Content is to be satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

We are to be content with what we have, who we are. That is not to say we don’t try to improve ourselves, but we must accept what is not in our power to change. That’s surrender. Alcoholics Anonymous, among other groups, use a prayer as part of their program.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  This is a prayer that we, as God’s children, should be praying for ourselves every day. This is a prayer asking for the contentment and surrender that will help us be like Jesus.

But let’s imagine further. You’ve found that Prince Charming, you had the perfect wedding. But Prince Charming isn’t as charming as we dreamed. But news flash, you aren’t perfect either. Marriage is the union of two imperfect people who are going to blend their lives. I promise, it isn’t going to be without road bumps, fights and disappointments. Don’t be surprised when things don’t go smoothly. But don’t become bitter either. Look at 1 Corinthians 13 and remind yourself of what love looks like, then put those characteristics into practice in your marriage.

I’ve long believed that a lot of the disappointments in marriage come about when we forget who is our joy and fulfilment. Marriage is a union of two individuals and is a beautiful thing. God ordained marriage as two becoming one flesh. So much happiness can be found in marriage. But we are creatures who were created for a purpose – to be conformed to the image of His Son. Our joy and contentment come from God, not from the perfect marriage or the perfect children or the perfect job or the perfect face/body. You get the idea. Apply the things Jesus taught to your marriage like you do to your other relationships. Love, forgive, encourage, support.

If you are blessed with children, be thankful. There are many who never had that opportunity. I pray that they found contentment in their situation. There are many who have children that have serious illnesses or who have had to say goodbye to those children long before they hoped. I pray they found comfort and contentment in God. There are many who have been disappointed by the choices their children have made in this life. This too is a place where we need to find comfort from God. Children are not perfect – they are individuals who make their own choices and decisions, just like spouses. Remember that your purpose in life comes from God, not from your children or your marriage or your job.

We need to work every day to surrender to God’s purpose for our lives. We should spend every day working as hard as we can to be just like Jesus. We need to surrender every part of our lives; our marriages, our jobs, what we want for our children, how we spend the moments of our lives and our health.

How do you respond when your day doesn’t go as you planned? Do you try to make things go the way you wanted them to or do you surrender and strive to be peaceful about the way things turned out? Think about this, please. Every situation asks for a response from us. And every time we give a response to a situation, others are watching us, watching to see how we respond to the disappointments and discouragements of life. Are you conformed to the image of Jesus? Do you shine as lights to a dying world?

Next Week - Looking Like Jesus Part 2 - FORGIVING

I'm Baaaaaack - Sorry for the long silence

I must apologize for the silence of the last year. The last year of my working outside the home took its toll on me. I was overwhelmed and that brought on illness.

Last October, I was laid off from my job. I believe fervently that this was a blessing. Just two weeks after being laid off, my husband, Mark became an elder at our congregation. I think this may have been God's way of preparing us for that. I am now free to help him in whatever way necessary. My health has greatly improved and the free time has also given me the opportunity to spend more time in study, meditation and prayer.

I recently attended WOW in Grapevine, TX, a weekend devoted to women and our service to the King. While there, I was approached by a dear sister and asked when I was going to start up my blog again.

So... here it is.

I want to promise that I will post every week, but we all know how life can sometimes get in the way. So, I will promise, with the Lord's help, I will post every week that He grants me the time and energy to do so.

I am open to suggestions, if there are any subjects you would like to see addressed.

This is just my apology and introduction back into the blogging community. I will post again later this week with my first installment of the new work.

May the Lord bless and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you.