How Do We Raise Faithful Christians?

Recently someone asked me, "You have three grown children who are all faithful. How did you do it? What made the difference between your kids and others I know who raised 3-4 kids but not all are faithful?"

I would have loved to tell her, "Here is the secret. Do this and you are guaranteed to have faithful children, who will remain faithful their whole lives." But there is no secret. There is no guarantee. We all, even our children, have free will, given by God. Our love and devotion mean nothing to Him if we don't have a choice. But we do have a choice. We all make choices and we all decide, daily, whether we will love and serve God or not. Our children have that same choice to make. 

So what makes the difference? I can't say for sure but I have some ideas that I think helped. Again, they are no guarantee that your children will remain faithful, but I believe they increase your chances of successfully raising children who will love God and serve Him all the days of their lives.

PRAY FOR THEM!  I began praying for my children before I even became pregnant. I prayed while I was pregnant and I've prayed for them consistently ever since. They are grown (30, 33 and 35) and I still pray for them daily. I prayed for God to help some other mother somewhere raise godly children so that my children could marry someone who had the same goals as they had, to serve God daily and to go to heaven. I prayed for God to wrap his arms around them and protect them from the fiery darts that Satan would throw at them. I knew that Satan would try to snatch them away and I prayed that they would be strong and have God's protection. I still pray for that. Just because they are grown doesn't mean Satan has given up on drawing them away from God. He's still out there, walking around like a roaring lion, looking for those he can devour. I Peter 5:8.

USE EVERY MOMENT AS A TEACHABLE MOMENT. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 4"Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! 5You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Teaching children about God isn't something you do once a week at Bible Class, or even once a day in a home Bible study. You have to take every opportunity, and use every situation, to teach your children about God, about what He has done for us, and about what He expects of us. 

Your child comes home from school and tells you that their friend's parents are getting a divorce. Use that to show them what God expects of us, how marriage is a life-time commitment.  

There is a new story about terrorism in the Middle East. Talk to your children about how God promises to be with us and care for us. Tell them about how other people don't believe in our God and His majesty. Show them how Christians should act, being kind to one another, forgiving, not hating and hurting others. 

When your children ask you why Bruce Jenner is now Caitlin Jenner, you can explain creation to them, how God created man and woman.

When your kids do something wrong, show them God loves them and that you love them too much to let them act wrongly. Show them that correction is love. God does the same thing for us. 

Hebrews 12:5-6 "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faith when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives."

When there is flooding and people have lost their possessions, teach your children about trusting God and prayer. Use the opportunity to teach them how to care for others. Have them donate some of their toys to kids who have lost everything in flooding or other natural catastrophes.

HAVE A STRONG FAITH OF YOUR OWN. Kids can tell if you are honest in your faith. They know if you are "just going through the motions" or if you sincerely believe and are serving God. Your example can do more to ensure they have a strong faith of their own than just about anything else you can do. 

I really wish I could give you guarantees that your children will grow up to be strong, faithful Christians, but I just can’t. Remember that your children, like every other person in the world, has free will and can choose for themselves how they live their lives. So do what you can to give them a solid grounding and pray without ceasing that God will help you teach them to love Him and serve Him all the days of their lives.

The 10 Commandments for Young People (And Older Ones, too)

The 10 Commandments for Young People (And Older Ones, too)

The 10 points below are used with permission from Kenny Moorer, who presented this lesson at Kleinwood church of Christ on Sunday, April 10, 2016. The commentary following each point is partly mine and partly Kenny’s, again used with his permission.

1.        Obey your parents. Ephesians 6:1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

We’ve all heard this one and we were probably all expecting this one to be the first point. But let’s think about it further for a minute. Why should you obey your parents, besides the fact that it is right? Obey your parents because they love you. They love you like no one else ever will. Rather than causing trouble, gripping and complaining about everything, why not make it easier for them instead of harder? You will learn when you are a parent that being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. So make their job easier for them, and let them know you love them for all they have done for you.

2.        Make up your mind to do right. Daniel 1:8 But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank; so he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself.

Daniel made up his mind that he wouldn’t defile himself, when he was taken captive. Making up your mind to do the right thing is not a one time thing. It is a continual process. Every day, you need to wake up and decide, make up your mind that you are going to do the right thing. Notice something else. Daniel was going to go against what the king wanted. He didn’t do it by getting “in your face” with the king and his people. He went to the commander of the officials to let him know that he was going to do something other than what he was supposed to do. This let the commander know that Daniel was still trying to be respectful but that he had to do what he thought was the right thing to do. Remember that sometimes the approach you use can make all the difference in the world.

3.        Walk circumspectly. Ephesians 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise. 

The word circumspectly means to look around. Be careful how you walk, looking around to see what is going on around you. Don’t let yourself be led into something immoral because you weren’t paying attention to what was going on.

4.        Don’t rationalize sexual sin. Ezekiel 23:21 Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your bosom because of the breasts of your youth.

The entire chapter of Ezekiel 23 is about Israel and how they have been unfaithful to God. Lewdness, nakedness and harlotry were terms that Ezekiel used to show the Israelites how they had hurt God by being unfaithful to him. But this is a good example of how we should avoid the lewdness, nakedness and harlotry. Don’t rationalize these sins. You know what lewdness is, you know what nakedness is. Don’t play around, trying to see how close you can get to sin. Get as far away from it as you can. If there was poison in one brownie of the batch, would you be willing to try any of the brownies or would you get as far away from those brownies as you could? This isn’t hard to understand. Don’t rationalize it. Be honest with yourself.

5.        Develop a good reputation. Acts 16:2 And he was well spoken of by the brethren who were in Lystra and Iconium.

Timothy was well spoken of by the brethren in Lystra and Iconium. This made him the perfect young man for Paul to take with him on his journeys. If someone were to go to your congregation or to your family and friends and ask about you, what kind of things would they tell about you? Do you have a good reputation? Or are you known for not doing the right thing, for not being serious about serious things, for being hurtful to others? What kind of reputation do you want?

6.        Do some things that you don’t want to do. Ecclesiastes 7:2 It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.

We all have to do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes that is a lousy thing. But sometimes it can be good to do things you don’t want. Major life lessons can be learned from doing things you don’t want to do. And you might learn that you really enjoy doing the things you thought you didn’t want to do.

 
7.        Seek godly counsel. 1 Kings 12:13 The king answered the people harshly, for he forsook the advice of the elders which they had given him.

Rehoboam was a new king. He asked the elders who had advised his father how he should respond to requests from the people for easier work. He also asked his friends, those who were the same age as he. Rehoboam listened to his friends, people who were no more knowledgeable or wise than he was himself. His friends told him to increase the amount of work expected by the king. The people rebelled and deserted Rehoboam. If he had listened to the wise counsel of the elders, he would have fared much better.

8.        Do “fitting” things. Ephesians 5:3-4 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Some things fit the life of a Christian, some things don’t fit. Is your life a puzzle of pieces that fit perfectly together or are there things that just don’t fit?

9.        Realize the brevity of life. James 4:14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

None of us know how long we will have here on this earth. We all like to think we will live to 80 or 90, grow old and be able to do everything we ever wanted to do. We all know, though, that we have no guarantee of tomorrow. We all know someone who has died too early, whose life was cut short because they made a bad choice or because someone else made a bad choice. We have all heard of babies that never even make it to birth or to their first birthday. It is a depressing thought but it doesn’t have to be totally depressing. Realizing the brevity of life will better help us to redeem the time, Ephesians 5:16. Make the most of your time. Use every day to do something to help you grow as a Christian, something to help someone else. Spend time in God’s word, grow your soul, not just your body. Make the most of your time!

10.    Develop a “cuttable” heart. Acts 2:37 Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brethren, what shall we do?”  

On the day of Pentecost, the people who heard Peter speak were “pierced to the heart.” If their hearts were hardened, then Peter’s sermon would have had no effect. Their hearts were pierced because they hadn’t allowed themselves to become so conditioned to sin that they couldn’t be touched. Is your heart cuttable? You can develop that kind of heart. That is what God wants of all of us. He wants us to care enough to be touched by rebukes from our brethren. He wants us to be concerned when we have hurt someone. Don’t let your heart be so calloused that you can’t be touched, affected by the pain of others.

Kenny’s final point was for parents. The greatest gift you can give your child is to have a genuine faith of your own. Think about this – when your kids are your age, would you be happy if they had the same faith you have now? Would you be happy with that or do you want more for them? If your faith isn’t a genuine faith, a strong faith, the kind of faith you would want your children to have, you need to work on that. Children learn by what we tell them, but they learn so much more from what they see in us. Your children know if you are sincere in your faith. And if you aren’t sincere, how can you expect them to have a sincere, genuine faith?

Now these 10 Commandments are for young people, but I have to tell you, they were all good reminders for me as well. I hope they will be good reminders for you as well.

Children Are All Different - Is There An Instruction Manual??

 

Children are all different. You can have 5 or 6 children and they will each have their own individual personality, their own preferences, their own temperaments. We start out having one child. Just when we think we have this whole parenting thing figured out, along comes another child who is completely different. What worked well with the first one doesn’t work well with the second. Don’t you wish kids came with an instruction manual?

Well, they do. It’s called the B-I-B-L-E. That is our instruction manual for raising children and for life. In it we will find what we need.

You have to look deeper than just verses that talk about raising children, though. There are your standards. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15.  Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians 3:20.

There are lots of other verses that tell us things that would be helpful in raising children. Here are just a few.

Be ye kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32.  Children respond well to kindness. They thrive in an atmosphere of kind words and gentle actions. But children make mistakes. They are, after all, children, still learning about this world we live in. So forgive them quickly. Let them know that you love them, even when their actions are not acceptable. Always try to end each punishment with a kind word, a gentle touch, a small praise for something good they have done.

Be angry and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. Ephesians 4:26. Babies are so sweet and cuddly. They giggle and smile and our hearts melt. Then they become toddlers. They discover they have a will of their own and they aren’t afraid to use it! That sweet cuddly baby has become a little terror who wants their own way. They throw fits and they throw things! They can make us angry. It’s ok to be angry, but don’t sin while you are angry. I think the best piece of advice I ever got was, when I was angry with my children, to send them to their room or put them in time out until I could calm down and deal rationally with them. Not only does it give you time to calm down but it gives them time to realize they have done something wrong.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world. Philippians 2:14-15. Teach your children to do their chores without grumbling. Teach them to not fight with one another, reminding them that they are children of God and he expects certain behavior from them. But make sure you aren’t doing the grumbling or disputing, either. What you do is more of a lesson to your children than what you say.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. Philippians 4:4-5. Show your children how to rejoice always, even in the bad times. Show them that, even when things are not going their way, or something bad has happened, they still have lots to be thankful for. Show them what a gentle spirit is by your example in teaching them. It’s kind of amazing how much more closely children listen when you speak softly.

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20. Teach your children how to be good listeners, teach them to not interrupt and show them how to consider their words carefully before speaking. This is an attribute that we could all use some practice with, so help your children learn this when they are young.

I guess what I am trying to point out is that the Bible is full of teachings that we need to be sharing with our children. Even the smallest toddlers can learn about God and learn to love God with all their hearts. Teach them by word and teach them by example. I don’t think there is much in this world that is more heartbreaking than to watch someone you love (and we all love our children dearly) walk away from God, fall into sin and be lost. Heaven is such a wonderful place. Don’t you want all your children to be there with you? Use the instruction manual to help assure your children grow up to love God.